Tuesday, June 17, 2008
There should be a law against using a leaf blower before 10:00am, especially when you consider all that debris, blasted with a high decibel dirty wind, is headed for a new home... namely your own freshly SWEPT front yard. Isn't that why God made long handled poles with brushes on the business end!?...ahem... so that hopelessly lazy neighbors in rump sprung, ragged black elastic pants, Mickey Mouse T-shirts, green Croc's, and a bumper sticker that reads "peace begins at home".... could get some much needed exercise and QUIETLY straighten up the place? Besides..... that "I just slept for 10 hours" rested, satisfied, goggled face, is particularly annoying if you really want to know the truth. Don't they know that some people are sleep deprived and have family members up in the last frontier called Alaska, dodging bears, wolves, and mooses?! Young daughters, driving impossibly small autos, stopping to take photos of friendly grizzlies near the highway?... or husbands, on motorcycles, crashing into the tailgates of lunatic Texans braking unexpectedly to take their 300th snapshot of a Bear's butt!!? Geez people, where is your humanity, your compassion, your fashion sense, or in the name of all that's holy... your fuse box!? Having criminal thoughts against your neighbors is not a good beginning to your day. I wonder... is that pond deep enough to accommodate more than 2 pink flamingos or do I just throw the whole lot, body and blower, in the Green waste can and take my chances? Usually a six pack of Bud is enough to encourage the garbage guys to take a little bit more....I'm thinking a case of imported might do the trick...
I was born a twin, although I was the first one to appear, so maybe that makes me the normal one. Anyway, my mother was fond of Toni perms in the 50's and thought our straight blond hair could reap the benefits of that products curly promises......questionable! The hair solution was so nasty all the windows and doors had to be opened, any food product left out on a counter had a slight mystery flavor, the cat stayed outside for a week. And the end result...well, my twin and I refer to that period as the "duelling Bozo's"
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